Vulgarity lessons with Meiko-sensei!
by PoPiJuice
Summary: Self-explanatory title. If you have badwordaphobia, please don't read this. No pairings! Yay. But there are vulgarities. Double yay. This is a oneshot. Triple yay. Image drawn by me on a phone tablet thing. Quadruple yay. Rated 'T' just because I want to. ipersonallydon'tfindthisfunnythough /is shot/


_**True story. But it happened almost 10 years ago so my memory is a little foggy on this one... So I improvised (the Lenka part especially)!**_

_**Anyways, Merry Christmas (even though Christmas has nothing to do with the story)!**_

_**Vocaloids, Utaus and Fanloids belong to their respective owners.**_

* * *

It was a normal day for Kaai Yuki, a normal girl attending her final year of kindergarten. She entered the classroom like always, greeted everyone and took her seat while waiting for the teacher, Sakine Meiko, to arrive.

When Meiko arrived, she did a quick once-over of the students present. Apparently everyone but the chief troublemaker, Gachapoid Ryuto, was present. Meiko then proceeded to ask all the students to gather around her at the front of the classroom. When everyone had settled down, Meiko said a few words that would lead to a talk that changed Yuki's life forever.

"Okay class, do you know about bad words?"

Most of the students shook their heads and shrugged. Some stared blankly at Meiko. The rest raised their hands and contributed words that their parents classified as 'bad', like 'dumb' and 'shit'. Though how mere six-year-old kindergarten children knew of such words were beyond Yuki's comprehension.

Meiko smiled. "Good to know that you kids have had an exposure to bad words. But do you know that there are words worse than those that you have mentioned? Like this word for example," pausing, Meiko uncapped her whiteboard marker and wrote in big letters 'Stupid'.

Yuki blinked. Where was Meiko going with this? A few dumb children went 'Ooohhhhh' at the sight of the profanity written before them. The ever-girly Kagamine Lenka (who always tries her best to be a 'good girl' no matter the situation) gasped and pointed at the whiteboard shrieking 'Meiko-sensei wrote a bad word!' over and over for a good two minutes.

When Lenka had finally calmed down, Meiko resumed her talk. "Yes, 'stupid', as many of you know, is a common word used by many people to insult others. But did you know that there is a bad word worse than 'stupid'?" With that question, Meiko picked up her marker again and wrote four letters above 'stupid'.

_F-u-c-k_

Yuki's eyes widened. _I learnt a new word today! Yay! I've gotta tell kaa-san about this later! _Yuki inwardly cheered. Most of the children stared confusedly at the board, probably thinking something along the lines of 'There is such a word?!', 'Is this a newly-discovered word or something?' or 'Is this 'fuck'-thing edible?'. Lenka closed her eyes and covered her ears, muttering about not wanting to be exposed to bad things any longer.

Meiko nodded at the class. "Yup. This word, pronounced 'fuck', is a word worse than stupid. You should not say it under any circumstance no matter what. Got it class?" The children nodded in response. Meiko smiled. "Good. Now while we are on this topic, let's talk about why we should not point our middle fingers," Meiko raised her left hand, all the fingers folded in except for the middle one. She then proceeded to talk about balls and male genitals. At this point, Yuki was no longer following this talk. _What do 'stupid', 'fuck' and penises have to do with anything? We are only six! _Yuki wondered. And this was coming from someone who had learnt about baby-making when she was five. Ah well. At least she learnt a new word today. That and a new insulting hand sign.

The door slammed open and in came Ryuto. Meiko erased 'fuck' from the whiteboard as Ryuto spouted out excuses for arriving fifteen minutes late. "No one tell Ryuto what we were just talking about, okay?" Meiko winked to the rest of the class as Ryuto went to put his school bag alongside the others at the back of the class. Yuki could have sworn that she saw Lenka breathe a sigh of relief upon Ryuto's arrival (though Lenka hates Ryuto with every fibre of her being).

Upon the return of Ryuto, Meiko cleared her throat. "Okay, class. So we are going to revise on the alphabet today..."

Yuki doubted that Ryuto ever found out about the talk that had occurred before his arrival.

* * *

That evening, Yuki saw her mother with a new book. Thinking that it was a picture book like the ones that she adored so much, Yuki asked to borrow the book. Flipping through it and finding next to none pictures, she took a blue pen that was lying nearby and wrote 'Stupid fucking book' on the first page before returning it to her mother.

Of course she got punished by her mother for it. Duh. Do you think that any kid can get away with writing vulgarities in their parents' books? Didn't think so. Of course she could have gotten scolded by her father too but Yuki lied that she did not write anything in the book and got off scot-free (from her father. Her mother was still mad at her the next day).

And from that day on, Yuki vowed to never share her knowledge of bad words with her family again.

The end.

* * *

_**You survived this story that even I can't make head nor tail of. Good job!**_

_**Happy last few days of holidays!**_

_**Lol I was SO original on Ryuto's last name /shot/**_

_**Was originally going to make Lily and Kiyoteru Yuki's parents but then I got lazy.**_

_**You made it to the end of this unnecessary author's note! Good for you!**_


End file.
